Is It Time To Say Goodbye Already?

Ominous clouds above the Karavan Saray

Last week was our Closer of Service conference.  It was a bit of a vacation too-a hotel/water park, set amongst bars and dance clubs on the beach.  Here, we reviewed topics that relate to life beyond Peace Corps.  We covered topics such as resume writing and networking, health coverage, and saying goodbye to our community and counterparts-all useful information.

After COS conference I went up with Emily up to Sheki one last time, which is, in my opinion, Azerbaijan's biggest draw.  There are a couple major historical buildings here, and guidebooks consistently mention that if you have time to visit any place in Azerbaijan besides Baku-make the trip up to Sheki.  We specifically went for a touristy weekend, visiting the beautiful Xan Saray, and staying at the extremely old and wonderfully converted Karavan Saray.

And, of course, helped with a Peace Corps project.  While there we helped with Azerbaijan's first destination charity run, a 10K race just outside the city, in the mountains' forest.  The weather was pretty miserable, almost comedic in how much it rained, and many teams arrived from neighboring rayons only to immediately turn around, but even still this race managed to raise close to 700 manat for the newly formed National Girls Club in Azerbaijan.  I imagine next year, (inshallah with nicer weather), will be a massive success.

After the race was run, as we were saying goodbyes to the other volunteers who helped, something strange happened.  It suddenly became a real 'goodbye'.  Leaving COS, I was aware of volunteers that I would most likely not see before my end of service, but those were volunteers I never really formed a relationship with.  Leaving Sheki, I was leaving volunteers that I am friends with and as we compared our schedules for the remaining two months, we realized its very likely we won't see each other before leaving the country.

Its like a repeat of two years ago, when, after getting dinner with friends, we realized that the goodbye being said wasn't just for the night, but potentially for the next couple years.  The first few times that happened, it was a pretty heady experience and after two years of building friendships, its been a similar surprise.

This realization transforms my service.  Truly its now the end of service phase.  Suddenly I'm thinking about how long its been since I've guested at my counterparts house and how I need to do that more frequently.  I'm figuring out how to best say goodbye to my school so that we'll part ways on the best of terms.  I'm realizing that those Azeri friends, who's calls I sometimes screen because I'm too tired, will soon enough no longer be able to call.

I still have plenty of opportunities in the next couple months to see friends all over the country.  I still have a camp to help with, a film festival to attend, and PSN training-all of which are happening in the next couple weeks.  Beyond that I have teacher trainings in three different cities, plus whatever miscellaneous events might pop up.  And each of these events will be accompanied by a comparing of schedules and realizing that 'hey! we're not going to see each other again!'.  I'm ready for these goodbyes.  What strikes me is how close I am to those conversations with my Azeri friends here in Khachmaz as well.

After an extremely self-involved (and needed) summer, fall will see me look towards the others who have made my life pretty good in Azerbaijan.  My American friends I'll see again.  It may be months or it may be years, but I can say I'll see Emily, Glendene, and Mercedes again with the same confidence I can say I'll see Nick, Margaret, or Evan again.  My Azerbaijani friends-well I don't know.  Before COS, there was no pressure to think about goodbyes.  Now, its all I can think about.