Is It Time To Say Goodbye Already?

Ominous clouds above the Karavan Saray

Last week was our Closer of Service conference.  It was a bit of a vacation too-a hotel/water park, set amongst bars and dance clubs on the beach.  Here, we reviewed topics that relate to life beyond Peace Corps.  We covered topics such as resume writing and networking, health coverage, and saying goodbye to our community and counterparts-all useful information.

After COS conference I went up with Emily up to Sheki one last time, which is, in my opinion, Azerbaijan's biggest draw.  There are a couple major historical buildings here, and guidebooks consistently mention that if you have time to visit any place in Azerbaijan besides Baku-make the trip up to Sheki.  We specifically went for a touristy weekend, visiting the beautiful Xan Saray, and staying at the extremely old and wonderfully converted Karavan Saray.

And, of course, helped with a Peace Corps project.  While there we helped with Azerbaijan's first destination charity run, a 10K race just outside the city, in the mountains' forest.  The weather was pretty miserable, almost comedic in how much it rained, and many teams arrived from neighboring rayons only to immediately turn around, but even still this race managed to raise close to 700 manat for the newly formed National Girls Club in Azerbaijan.  I imagine next year, (inshallah with nicer weather), will be a massive success.

After the race was run, as we were saying goodbyes to the other volunteers who helped, something strange happened.  It suddenly became a real 'goodbye'.  Leaving COS, I was aware of volunteers that I would most likely not see before my end of service, but those were volunteers I never really formed a relationship with.  Leaving Sheki, I was leaving volunteers that I am friends with and as we compared our schedules for the remaining two months, we realized its very likely we won't see each other before leaving the country.

Its like a repeat of two years ago, when, after getting dinner with friends, we realized that the goodbye being said wasn't just for the night, but potentially for the next couple years.  The first few times that happened, it was a pretty heady experience and after two years of building friendships, its been a similar surprise.

This realization transforms my service.  Truly its now the end of service phase.  Suddenly I'm thinking about how long its been since I've guested at my counterparts house and how I need to do that more frequently.  I'm figuring out how to best say goodbye to my school so that we'll part ways on the best of terms.  I'm realizing that those Azeri friends, who's calls I sometimes screen because I'm too tired, will soon enough no longer be able to call.

I still have plenty of opportunities in the next couple months to see friends all over the country.  I still have a camp to help with, a film festival to attend, and PSN training-all of which are happening in the next couple weeks.  Beyond that I have teacher trainings in three different cities, plus whatever miscellaneous events might pop up.  And each of these events will be accompanied by a comparing of schedules and realizing that 'hey! we're not going to see each other again!'.  I'm ready for these goodbyes.  What strikes me is how close I am to those conversations with my Azeri friends here in Khachmaz as well.

After an extremely self-involved (and needed) summer, fall will see me look towards the others who have made my life pretty good in Azerbaijan.  My American friends I'll see again.  It may be months or it may be years, but I can say I'll see Emily, Glendene, and Mercedes again with the same confidence I can say I'll see Nick, Margaret, or Evan again.  My Azerbaijani friends-well I don't know.  Before COS, there was no pressure to think about goodbyes.  Now, its all I can think about.

Ten Hip-Hop Album Recommendations-Part 2

Young Hov!

This post is the remaining 5 hip-hop albums I'd recommend to check out if you are looking to get into some 'good rap'.  Its in no particular order-don't think of these as 6-10.  Each album has a description, a first track to get you into it and a follow up track to keep you in it.  If you dig the album, check out the recommended follow up album.

Anything here you like?  Anything I left out?  Leave a comment below

Also, definitely check out Part 1 which you can find HERE.

Jay-Z - The Blueprint

Jay-Z is king right now, gracefully transitioning from drug dealer to media mogul with ownership in restaurants and basketball teams.  When you hear Jay brag, it is larger than life-but believe it, it is completely true ('Shit, I made the Yankee hat more famous than a Yankee can').  The Blueprint is just that, a blueprint for his move from domination of the rap game, to domination of, well, whatever he chooses to touch.  This is the album of a self-made man.

Track: IZZO (H.O.V.A.)
Follow Up Track: The Ruler's Back
Follow Up Album: Clipse - Hell Hath No Fury



Snoop Doggy Dog - Doggystyle

In general my tastes for rap and hip-hop run east, Chicago is about as West as I go.  But the West Coast has produced some greats (some argue 'the greatests') in rap: Dr. Dre, N.W.A., Tupac, Snoop Dogg, etc all hail from California.  Of these, Snoop Dogg's Doggystyle is my indisputable favorite.  This is perfect BBQ music, and if anyone questions your selection you're allowed to pull trump; they are wrong, you are right.

Track: Gin and Juice
Follow Up Track: Murder Was The Case
Follow Up Album: Dr. Dre - The Chronic



Blackstar - Mos Def & Talib Kweli are Blackstar

Yeah, I'm doubling up on Mos Def here, but it almost can't be helped, this album is that good.  One day Mos and Talib decided to put out an album, and it was even more amazing than the two of them separately.  Talib and Mos bounce off each other as easily as the beats bounce off the speakers.  This is about as fun as rap gets.

Track: Definition
Follow Up Track: Brown Skin Lady
Follow Up Album: Mos Def - Black on Both Sides (if you already checked that out, Talib Kweli - Quality)



Beastie Boys - Licensed to Ill

Personally, this isn't my favorite Beastie Boys album; early Beasties was frat-rap with a lot of casual misogyny and Licensed to Ill lacks the spirituality and inventiveness that makes later albums so much more interesting.  But this is still a great album and undeniably a classic album.  The Beastie Boys, when it comes down to it, were about friendship and here they are in their purest form, goofing and riffing and acting like idiots because thats what young guys do when they get together with their friends.

Track: The New Style
Follow Up Track: No Sleep Till Brooklyn
Follow Up Album: Beastie Boys - Hello Nasty

The Weeknd - House of Balloons

People will scoff at my inclusion of The Weeknd in here.  This album came out last year, it was a free self-release, and really closer to R&B than it is to rap.  All of these are fair arguments.  Here are mine: 1) I believe the most interesting things that happen in hip-hop are when genres are blended, this album is a beautiful blend of hip-hop, R&B, trip-hop, and so much more; 2) I tossed around a lot of albums that are producer focused (J-Dilla's 'Donuts' is definitely more 'classic'), but I believe amongst them this stands best as an album, to be listened to; 3) There's not much new on this list, after Kanye's 2010 the next closest is 2004.  This album is one of my favorites from 2011.  Warning: this music may create babies.

Track: What You Need

Follow Up Track: House of Balloons / Glass Table Girls

Follow Up Album: J-Dilla - Donuts

Ten Hip-Hop Album Recommendations-Part 1

Andre 3K and Big Boi, in a patriotic moment.

So a week ago I got a great email from my brother-in-law.  He's looking to get more into 'good rap' (as he puts it) and wanted my recommendations of artists to check out.  I was looking for a project and this seemed like a lot of fun.  So, I brainstormed and put together this list for him.

This isn't a 'Top 10 Hip-Hop Albums' list; this is more of a '10 Hip-Hop Albums I Would Want With Me On A Deserted Island (in no particular order)' list.  I readily admit-I have no qualifications with the exception that I'm a pretty strong fan of rap, hip-hop, and associated genres, which is really the only qualification that counts.

Take a look below.  Each entry has a description for some context, a recommended first track to listen to and then a second in case you like what you hear.  If you're jamming to this album and want some more in that vein, I've also provided a recommended follow up album.  The entires below are in no order whatsoever.

I'd be curious in what anyone's opinions are.  Do you agree with these choices?  What would be on your list?  Is any of the stuff below new to you?  Leave a comment below.

Tune in next Thursday for Part 2.

OutKast - Stankonia

If you ask OutKast fans which album is their best, you will have rabid proponents for almost each one, there are at least four that critics would consider 'classics'.  I chose Stankonia because its as wild and inventive as OutKast got, while still remaining a strong duo.  Later albums saw them separate a bit, but here they're still trading verse for better verse for even better verse.  Similar to Mos Def's Black on Both Sides, its almost prophetic how fresh and relevant Stankonia has remained.

Track: Outkast - B.O.B.
Follow Up Track: Outkast - So Fresh, So Clean
Follow Up Album: Outkast - Aquemini



Mos Def - Black on Both Sides

This is Mos Def's massive solo debut.  Recorded over 10 years ago, every single issue he raps about sounds as if he pulled it from headlines today.  Water scarcity, racial profiling, excessive misogyny and materialism, he covers it all while still remaining upbeat and optimistic about our potential as humans to transcend.  This album is one of two rap albums I have on an iTunes playlist called 'Perfect Albums'.

Track: Mos Def: Hip-Hop
Follow Up Track: Mathematics
Follow Up Album: Blackstar - Mos Def & Talib Kweli are Blackstar (if you already checked that out, Talib Kweli - Quality)



Kanye West - My Beautiful, Dark, Twisted Fantasy.

I think that Kanye is one of the most creative musicians working in the world today, and for years I've said that Kanye is hip-hop's Radiohead. And the masterpiece MBDTF his Kid A, where he shows how insanely talented, creative, and far-reaching he is.  His production is glorious and his inspirations are numerous; he utilizes indie rock, soul, revolutionary poetry, you can go on and on with this album.  This is the second rap album on my 'Perfect Album' playlist.

Track: Kanye West ft. Pusha-T - Runaway
Follow Up Track: Kanye West - Lost in the World ft. Bon Iver
Follow Up Album: Jay-Z and Kanye West - Watch The Throne



The Fugees - The Score

I struggled with this selection.  I really wanted to represent a solid female MC on this list and I was balancing between this and The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill (her solo debut following The Fugees).  In the end the tipping point was that The Fugees is simply more of a rap album.  The chemistry between these three is unquestionable and is probably a reason this rap classic is very commonly found in 'non rap lovers' collections

Track: How Many Mics (okay, and the classic track, Killing Me Softly)
Follow Up Track: The Mask
Follow Up Album: The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill




The Streets - A Grand Don't Come For Free

Mike Skinner is a white Brit, growing up in a tradition of jungle, garage, and other more electronic oriented inspirations.  You'll hear that the production (the music, as opposed to the words, you hear) on A Grand is different from most of the other albums on this list.  But this man is an incredible storyteller, better than any other artist on this list.  This is a concept album, an easily followed story instigated by the loss of a thousand dollars that takes the listener through bar nights, cheating girlfriends, and fights with friends.

Track: Dry Your Eyes
Follow Up Track: Fit But You Know It
Follow Up Album: The Streets - Original Pirate Material

Beginnings and Questions

Looking for some direction? (photo by Evan Finn)

For those of you who don't know, I am a volunteer on Peer Support Network or PSN.  As a PSN member, volunteers call me up and speak, with full confidentiality, about whatever might be on their mind.  Whether about their latest success or their current low point, my main objective is to listen and validate the person on the phone.  Its a great service provided by all Peace Corps countries and I enjoy being involved in it.

So, why am I brining up this aspect of my Peace Corps service today?  Well, during our training to be PSNers we received information about the volunteer cycle of adjustment and vulnerability.  Almost all volunteers cycle through a semi-predictable pattern in their service, where they oscillate between feeling confident and well adjusted in their service and the culture to feeling anxious and vulnerable.

For much of 2012 we've been lucky enough to feel good about what we're doing.  We're in our second year and confident in our workspace.  Our secondary or passion projects are usually in full swing and we are comfortable with the cultural ties we've developed in our community.  However, all good things must end and our last four months of service are marked by a last swing into vulnerability.

From the conversations we have with one another, its fairly obvious to see.  There are concerns of what happens next and of what it will be like to leave the place we've called home, no matter how strange, for the last two years.  There are concerns about what it will be like to enter our American world of friendships and dating again-all of us have yearned for this for the last two years, but it can be a little intimidating to think about how much we may have missed.  We've all experienced a lot of personal growth here and there are concerns over what parts of our identity will transcend cultural mores and geographical borders and what parts were simply an 'Azerbaijani' aspect of ourselves.

These are the concerns that volunteers ending their service dissect with each other on the phone, on the bus, and on the floor.  In less than 3 months, on November 15th, I'll be heading back to America.  Every day, literally every single day, I wake up and am grateful that I am one day closer to that moment, which has for so long seemed so so far away.  But just like every end, it is followed by a beginning, and all beginnings have questions.

I know I'll be heading home for the holidays-I've been away too long and want to see my family and friends and dogs.  But I also want to eat chipotle burritos and avocados, drink PBR and Maker's Mark, and be told I'm pretty by men who's names I don't yet know.  I know that I'll be traveling to South East Asia after that, but for how long and to where exactly I'm still unsure.  I'm unsure of where I will live when I come back and what I'll do for money-I'm confident these answers will come, but they haven't yet, and the questions remain.

There's really no conclusion to this post, its open-ended.  When I came to Azerbaijan two years ago (as of September) I knew that for the next two years I would not have to worry about my food, my house, my health, or my job-all of those things would be provided for.  And that was pretty nice.  But that time has now passed and I'm thankful for that.  And all of us all-too-recent bleary-eyed, jet-lagged 8s must begin thinking about these questions again.  Which is also kind of nice.

It just makes us feel vulnerable.

Photos From Ingrid's Visit

Josh and Ingrid (left to right)

A few weeks back my friend Ingrid came to visit Azerbaijan and get a taste for the Peace Corps lifestyle while on a tour break.  Check out some pics HERE.

Read about Ingrid's thoughts on Azerbaijan HERE.

Old City at dusk