The Ultimate Test: The Host family

Once accepted into the Peace Corps I began to receive a lot of information about ways my life was going to get more difficult. I heard about culture shock and how it will affect me in different ways. 'You'll get sick;' 'You'll sleep more;' 'You won't feel motivated;' etc etc. I heard how wearing it is to live in a fishbowl, to live in a place where I am so obviously different from every other person there. How everyone will know who I am, how my every move and dress will be watched and noted, how people will sometimes stare at me with mouth agape. I heard a lot about all the modern conveniences I would be forced to forego. The way things get done here, from washing clothes to eating at a restaurant to going to the bathroom, are different from what I am used to.

All of these items certainly have a stress associated with them, but I've found I've been able to take them in stride as I led Peace Corps to believe I could (phew!). No, it is not these that is the massive stressor in my, and most of my fellow volunteers, life. The ultimate stressor is the host family.

In previous emails I've emails I've written how I didn't really have the greatest host family situation during training. What I have currently is a 180 from then. My host family is great now. The house is great. My room is great. And I can't wait to get out of there.

The thing with a host family is, when you are living with one you never have any downtime, any escape from the culture you're in. After you finish your long day teaching classes in an Azeri school, after meeting with teachers who have much different ideas about what is effective knowledge transference, after the various conversation clubs you might hold, and after the long walk home, it is then when you have to begin the real cultural work. Now you're in an intimate setting, the home, with people who don't speak your language. And navigating the balance between assimilation and maintaining some degree of your own personal identity is both difficult and exhausting.

After a long day of working with Azeris, I want nothing more than to go home and veg out. Whether that be watch tv or read, I want some alone time. This idea is so foreign to this culture, to come home and immediately try and separate yourself is bizarre. You've been away from the family for so long, you need some family time! Its nice, but not what I want.

There are also the physical demands of a host family. I no longer have any control over my diet or eating schedule. As I get used to the country it can be sort of nice, but it creates a feeling of dependency I don't remember the last time felt. My senses are always in a state of alert. Always preparing myself for the potential guest or dinner or trip to the village that I possibly was informed of but certainly had no clue was coming.

I really like my host family. I completely lucked out in my site placement in every way. But I can't wait to be an adult again.

Much love,

Josh